Wednesday, March 2, 2011
A long-overdue weekly update
Hello, friends. So my sincerest apologies for not responding to you when I said I would. 2 weeks in a row of not blogging! How bad am I!
I am writing this while waiting to go on set as a background “actor” (loosely used!) for a certain big film that is being shot in Vancouver. I made sure to bring my computer on set with me so that I would have NO CHOICE but to sit in front of it and write about the past couple of weeks!!
PHYSICAL BODY: So these past 2 weeks have been pretty emotional for me. I haven’t lost any weight, in fact I may have gained a pound or two. So the win for me lies in the fact that I haven’t backtracked too far, even in a time when I’ve really wanted to cling to the safety of food.
HEALTH & ENERGY: Until late this week, for the past 2 weeks I have been super committed to ensuring 30-45 mins of sweaty physical activity 6 times a week. Even though my food intake has been extremely poor, the afterglow of activity that I’ve been able to relish in has been wonderful. It’s given me a sheer strength that I otherwise wouldn’t have had. I can feel myself getting stronger, physically, and I gotta tell you it is a NICE feeling to trust my body again!
CREATIVE ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Week 2, I worked hard with a dramaturg on my solo show, and Week 3, I submitted it to a theatre festival. I’m really grateful that I got that submission done... there really is something to be said about having a deadline and a creative structure to aim towards. It was REALLY scary to submit my show – this baby of mine that I have held close to my heart for so many years – but in the end, I’m glad I did it. The more I get this work out there, the more I feel I’m freeing up spaced for more creative “children” to come to light! That being said, I’ve also noticed some major creative antagonism and sabotage, in both filling my body with junk (doesn’t do the physical body good that’s for sure!), and watching TV episodes back to back (lately it’s been finishing Season 1 of Fringe!)
SELF-ESTEEM: It’s been OK. I don’t want to get into what’s happened too much, but suffice it to say that it’s been an emotionally taxing 2 weeks. There has been an issue in my life that has been extremely emotional over the past 9 months, and just in the past 2 weeks it’s come to a head. I knew this was going to be an issue, but I didn’t realize it would affect me so hard. So merely the fact that I’ve been sticking to the plan, even the days I veer away, the fact that over the past 2 weeks I’ve come back even every couple of days has been incredible and I’m OK patting myself on the back for that.
FINANCE & CAREER: Ya know, I’ve been doing some work recommended by Stuart Wilde, a monetarily-inclined Spiritual Teacher for the past few weeks, and I’ve been starting to lose faith a little bit. I brainstorm almost daily about financially lucrative ideas, and I’ve brought these up with certain people, and although I feel more knowledgeable about some of these ideas, I still feel as if I’m treading water. So no real progress – that you can see, at least – on that front.
As for the Special Causes:. Week 2: FLIP SIDE WEEK .
I actually really liked this week. I’d like to carry forward some of the learnings that I took from it! One particular exercise that I came up with, while journaling one day in a cafe, was the following:
I chose as many areas in my life as possible that I was feeling crappy about. I pulled out my handy dandy journal and wrote the following:
“I feel crappy/sh*tty/icky about: _________”
I felt how that felt.
I then wrote the following sentence:
“In a perfect world, I would change this by...._________”
I sometimes wrote a couple of those sentences for each issue, and in one particular instance I wrote a paragraph. I then proceeded to continue with this formula for the remainder of the “I feel shitty about” list. And you know what’s crazy? I began to feel better.
See here’s the thing. I gave myself TOTAL permission to be as zany as possible on “I would change this by...” Allowing myself complete freedom to change my situation by zooming to the moon, for example. But what got crazy was that, when I had gone through my list and finished, I looked back... and even though it seemed TOTALLY CRAZY when I wrote it down... it actually wasn’t that crazy when I looked back at it. One of my answers was, “By talking to my boyfriend about this issue”. The only reason it felt crazy was because I was not in an emotional space enough to be able to even THINK about bringing it up with him... but by the time I’d finished the exercise, I’d raised my emotional vibration enough that it seemed like the perfect thing to do.
I discovered this late in the week. I had grand intentions of doing this exercise every day, but I forgot. Oops. Do not fret, however... this exercise WILL come back!
So that was the big golden nugget of Week 2. I’d love to take that one with me.
Week 3: PAY IT FORWARD WEEK
This one was somewhat the hardest yet. And to be honest, I actually forgot to Pay It Forward on a couple days. Some of my Pay It Forwards included holding a door for a woman with a big load, making dinner for a dear friend and giving her a container to take it home, helping a friend move, buying lunch for my mom when she had lost her wallet...
So although most of these are things that I would do anyway, it was actually kinda nice to celebrate a week of doing things for other people with absolutely NO intention of “getting it back”. I think that we forget that the little things we do can actually make big ripples. I forget, at least.
So that’s Week 2 and 3, dearies! Thank you for baring with me. Week 4 is GOOD VIBES TO PEOPLE week (No gossiping!), and I can’t TELL you how excited I am about that. So far so good, even surrounded by a whole whack of chatty kathies that usually I would LOVE to pick apart. (Err, ego would, that is!). So here’s to a whole week of throwing warm fuzzies at people, ESPECIALLY the ones who are mean to you!!
Monday, February 14, 2011
120 days towards change... Week 2 FLIP SIDE WEEK
So it is officially Week 2. I was going to write last night, but I've had a whopping weekend involving ... well, ok, a great deal of Fringe episodes. And a whooole bunch of sugar on Saturday night. And that to-do list I procured on Thursday... Friday... Saturday? ... apparently watching Fringe episodes... and catching up on Private Practice... Off the Map... Grey's Anatomy... was FAR more important!!!
So a quick recap of this week: I certainly started with a bang: Monday-Friday was extremely strong. I felt extremely committed to this project, and shared this project with everybody I could in hopes of bringing some new recruits on board (if you've stumbled on this that would be YOU!).
I began a journal on Tuesday, as I felt it would be helpful to keep a physical piece of changes... adding a quantification to the process.
Daily Checklists:
My daily checklists were fantastic from Monday-Friday, Sat/Sunday I began to slip a bit more.
Physical activity has been the easiest, with food being a close second. I keep forgetting gratitude... so the aim is to even just remember for one meal a day.
I've found it most difficult to do 1 creative and 1 financial action...making time to write has been challenging. And it feels ludicrous that this is so, especially since I'm not working... so where do my hours go?
CORRECT AND CONTINUE: for Week 2, I'm going to try checklisting ONE creative and ONE financial action, so I have 7 small ones by next week.
5 areas:
Physical Body - I've lost 3 pounds this week, and have had a whack of ideas racing through my already-busy mind in terms of finances.
Health & Energy -- Ummm... kinda lazy on the weekend. And now that's pulled a bit more into Monday... though, I think the time-off on the weekend allowed for some extra energy, at least to have a good workout.
Creative Accomplishments - I wrote a new timeline, but have definitely not put daily work into writing. I think for Week 2 I will aim for writing 3x/week instead of every day so I don't feel quite so bad.
Self-esteem feels pretty strong, all-around. I'd like to feel more achievement in terms of motivating myself to set goals instead of only achieving things when they're appointments
Finances - Very little change. I sold some electronics I've been meaning to sell, so that gave me a nice income buffer.
WEEKLY THEME: SERVICE:
Well, the only issue with this is that it wasn't really specific enough. Next time I do something like this, I will give myself daily goals. This next week will probably not be specific enough either... so I think I'll need to do some thinking as to how I can specify THINKING ON THE FLIP SIDE / NO COMPLAINING WEEK!
So... that's pretty much it. I hope that your week has gone well too! Please drop me a line... comment... message... let me know you're out there and rockin Week 2!!
Much love,
Meg
Sunday, February 6, 2011
120 days towards change...Starts tomorrow!
So. Just to be totally clear. Here are my 5 areas that I m looking forward to seeing changes in:
- Physical Body
- Health & Energy
- Creative Accomplishments
- Self-Esteem
- Finances & Career
Daily Checklist (no matter what!):
- meditation
- physical connection & activity
- food awareness & gratitude
- daily commitments for the day
- morning pages
- 3 finance/career actions/day
- 1 creative action/day
- nature appreciation
- visualization & imagery on each of 5 areas above
Weekly commitments:
- With every interaction, think, "how can I give to this person in this transaction?"
- Flip Side Week (otherwise known as No Complaining Week). Also special note to be gentle to Self Week.
- Random Act of Kindness Week (or Pay-It-Forward Week). I'm aiming for at a bare minimum of 1/day... to friends, foe, and strangers.
- Good Vibes to People Week (Choose 1 person/day, and see that person surrounded in white light and getting all they deserve as much as possible throughout the day)
- Give tribute to Mentors Week (You remember WWJD? Substitute "J" for your mentor and act like they would... WW _ D?)
- Tackle my Weaknesses Week (Make a list of 7 Darknesses. Choose one per day. Devote each day to throwing every single tool I know of at it... affirmations, change of thoughts, change of actions, etc.)
- Eat only real, simple foods for a week. Also: goal to eat each meal doing nothing else except eating! No reading, no tv, just simple.
- Plan and make all meals at home for a week (no eating out... that includes Starbucks!)
**HALFWAY!... celebration and refection and correct/continue time!**
- Be Kind to the Environment Week (might become Bike Everywhere Week...maybe even Low-Electricity Week (ie... no TV week... gulp! ... keep ya posted)
- Switch It Up Week: do something new in everything... exercise, eating, route to work, daily routine... you name it!
- Simplify and Clear Space Week
- DO IT NOW week (otherwise known as No Procrastination Week)
- Confidence Week
- Marketing Myself Week: work on marketing projects I've been putting off (website updates much?!)
- Go out of Comfort Zone Week
- Notice the Changes and Love Yourself Week
**Also, THANKS to all the facebook peeps who posted their ideas... it was AWESOME to see everybody's ideas, and you can see I've shamelessly stolen some of them, thanks!*
Now. Rewards and punishments ideas (I don't know how much I'll be using them, but they're here just in case they work for anyone else?):
Rewards:
- Go to the spa/beauty parlour (mani, pedi, massage, etc.)
- Buy new music
- New clothing
- New Lush/Eco-friendly stuff
- Hang out at the SPCA with the puppies
- wake up extra early for meditation
- do Mike's chores for him
- clean out computer files, or other jobs I've been putting off
- donate money to a charity (alternative: put money in a jar and donate one big sum at the end)
- Do everything on the Daily List twice
- No TV
So.... that's the plan folks! Again, I am committing to blogging weekly (hopefully more!) and sharing my experiences. I'd love to hear comments if any of you try this -- even just a portion of it -- or if anyone out there has done something like this in the past, what has worked for them? I know this seems ambitious... but if I get to the end of the month and it's just too much, I will tone things down if needed. Or otherwise -- even more exciting -- if it just is so darned easy, I'll ramp up the changes.
Much, much love, and Happy 120 Days to Change!
Meg
Friday, February 4, 2011
120 days towards change...Taking Stock
So I've been clarifying just what, exactly, I want to put into the next 4 months. I have my 5 cornerstone themes I'm aiming to see improvement in. I've got daily actions aimed at each of them. I've been playing around with the idea of a weekly theme resulting in daily action (see yesterday's post), and some GREAT ideas have came flowing in on my facebook status (thanks peeps!). So I figured, why not give it some semblance of form, and have a MONTHLY theme, with weekly categories that come up?? (Again, I apologize for my micro-managerial tendencies that can pop up from time to time...don't worry... they'll soon pass...)
So on that note. Here's what I've got so far (any other ideas, I'm all ears!):
Month 1: Fresh, Eager, this-is-new-and-exciting energy
Month 2: In the Thick of It -- Keep your chin up and your head down, Kid (or something like that)
Month 3: Halfway--Take stock of where I'm at. Correct/revise/continue Game Plan
Month 4: TAKE 'ER HOME!
And as for Weekly Ideas, here's what I have chosen -- in no particular order:
- With every interaction, think, "how can I give to this person in this transaction?"
- Gratitude Week
- Flip Side Week (otherwise known as No Complaining Week)
- Random Act of Kindness Week (or Pay-It-Forward Week)
- Pray for/Meditate on/send good vibes to the same person every day
- Give tribute to a mentor Week (either same one, or 7 different ones!)
- Tackle my Weaknesses Week
- Eat only real food for a week
- Plan all meals for a week
- Be Kind to the Environment Week
- Go out of Comfort Zone Week
- Love Yourself Week (was gonna say Pleasure Yourself Week but I guess that's something different altogether... oh this is awkward)
- DO IT NOW week (otherwise known as No Procrastination Week)
- Confidence Week
- Marketing Myself Week: work on marketing projects I've been putting off (website updates much?!)
Lastly, I am aiming for at least 1 weekly check-in. The goal is to do a blog on Sunday night, with a recap of the previous week, and a more specific plan for the coming week. Because obviously, I've done all my planning in advance so there will be ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that will come up and knock my advance-well-thought-out plans out of the picture... ;)
I have taken an inventory of where I'm at NOW and where I want to be in 4 months. I found some areas easier than others to give basic numbers:
-the Physical Body was easiest to figure out. Numbers on a scale and the way I feel in jeans are pretty self-explanatory, and I've found in the past that when I stick to a simple plan, the numbers show for themselves... so I feel good about that. Simple, vegan foods, portion observance, intuitive eating, creative cooking, planning, and really paying attention to my thoughts & emotions while preparing and eating delicious food.
-Health & Vitality was a bit more difficult to add a quantum number to. All I could really decide was that I'd like to "feel more energetic". I think that to quantify this, over the weekend, I'm going to look at the ways I'm NOT health & vitality-full, and strategize how I DO want to be.
-Creative Accomplishments is scariest to work with. I have some ideas for scripts that have been kicking around. Actually writing a first draft?! Going from in-the-ethosphere to in-someones-hard-drive is a scary, scary thought. Nevertheless, 2 goals are written and in the book for May.
-Self-Esteem (inside & out): ok, this one kinda goes with Health & Vitality, but it's the internal manifestation. Since I've decided that I want to have my own business, I've had tonnes of ideas that have bubbled to the surface... but Mike put it best when he quoted Susan in the musical [title of show]:
The last vampire is the mother of all vampires and that is the vampire of despair.
It’ll wake you up at 4am to say things like:
Who do you think you’re kidding?
You look like a fool.
No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be good enough
Why is it that if some dude walked up to me on the subway platform
and said these things, I’d think he was a mentally ill asshole,
but if the vampire inside my head says it,
It’s the voice of reason.
... RIGHT???...
so it was at that point I decided that Self-Esteem deserved a big ol' spot up here. So, again, hard to put in quantum measures... but, by May, I want to feel confidence and strength in places where I am currently feeling crippling self-defeatism.
-Finances: Ah yes, my good friend Moneybags and his doppelganger Visa card. At this point, I have debt that I would like to have totally managed by May. I am also currently unable to work my old jobs due to vocal issue... so I'm looking for creative income streams and a solid business idea and plan by May.
SO. I don't want to post too specific information here on this gargantuam Internet-thing ... I will share that info with close friends and colleagues, but I'd rather leave my goals general for now.
All right. So up to now, I've posted: inventory, monthly plan, weekly plan, daily plan. I'm also looking for rewards/punishments for each day... to help with the "motivation" factor ... although I much prefer the term "INSPIRATION" factor! I've posted for ideas on facebook... all ears for ideas!
Woo! Bring it on!
Love, light, and hugs that make you feel warm in your toes,
Meg
Thursday, February 3, 2011
120 days towards change...Weekly challenges
So, been thinking more about the Weekly Challenges. I want something that has a recognizable weekly theme, with specific daily actions. I put an all-call out on Facebook and Twitter for ideas, so far, here are some ideas that I've had:
So I have a few options here:
- Choose 4 themes and repeat them each 4 times
- Choose 8 themes and repeat them twice
- Choose 16 themes and have a new theme every week
- Choose a random number between 4 and 16 and repeat some/don't repeat others
Also, been working on my daily actions, and adding a quantum measurement to make my goals SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, with a Timeline... check here for more info). The...goal... (heheheh)... is to have these written down in concrete, specific steps by the weekend so I'm good to go for Monday! Adding specific details has always been somewhat of my downfall (more on downfalls/darknesses later).
ALSO, I am giving myself the BIGGEST pat on the back... I figured out how to add FB and Twitter "share" buttons! It was so exciting! So please add, like, and share to your heart's content... how awesome would it be if a whole bunch of us changed global consciousness just by striving to be our best Selves for 4 months?
Lotsa love and hugs,
Megan
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
120 days towards change...who's in?
So after a couple of days of reflection, I have decided to implement some goals and changes to kick-start forward motion.
Since being diagnosed with the vocal issue that kept me silent and forced me to cancel all my previous commitments (see my previous post!), I have found myself grappling with a fear that I am wasting all of this incredible free time that just fell on my lap. It really opened me up to how precious time is. I've spent a great deal of this time in reflection, journalling, taking Artist Dates, and watching a looooooot of TV.
As wonderful as this time is, I've also felt myself receding a bit. I realized that if it were up to me, I would spend my life indoors, listening to self-help audios, meditating, going to yoga or the gym, watching Grey's Anatomy, and eating delicious vegan food.
(I mean, really, I don't see anything wrong with that?!)
I was sitting down to eat a delicious lentil burger I made tonight, with a nagging sensation that there was something I should do. As I leaned over to turn on the newest Biggest Loser episode, a chill ran through my body....
... This is what I realized: It would be so, so easy to be this exact same person a year from now. If I continued to follow the exact same patterns as I have recently become aware of... Megan-from-the-future would be exactly the same as Megan-In-the-Present.
Chilling, right?!
So here's what I'm thinking. After much brainstorming, I've decided on 5 major areas that I really look forward to improving. I'll list them here (not necessarily in order of importance!):
- Physical Body
- Health & Energy & Emotional Well-Being
- Creative Productivity
- Finances: grow income
- Internal Strength & Outside Generosity
The goal is to take daily action and one bigger weekly action for each item listed above. Daily actions will consist of:
-meditation
-physical connection and activity
-food awareness and gratitude
-gratitude as often as I can remember
-daily commitments listed and marked off
-morning pages
Weekly items will change, depending on the week.
I am aiming to start this Monday, so I have some more time over the next few days to review and clarify. But if anyone wants to start a 120 day challenge with me on Monday... towards any topic of your choosing! ... Feel free to post or comment it... after all, it's proven that any goals stated publicly have a major advantage to ones that just get stuck in your head.
So very much love to you!!
Peace and light,
Meg
Monday, January 24, 2011
7 days of Solitude

Hi! It's been a while. Sorry for the delay... I don't have a good excuse, except that I got busy. You deserve better, though :)
OK, so this post is about some pretty important stuff that's come up this past week. I was on doctor-ordered voice rest due to a bump of some form on my left vocal fold. A case of overworking myself physically, emotionally, and mentally, and not listening to the signs until it was too late.
So I had to release myself from all commitments... and spend 7 days with myself. Seven days. With myself. Most of the time in a confined space.
Oh god!
Now, I will say one thing: this was certainly not a true vipassana meditation because I definitely did a lot of things, and had to communicate with others through other methods (email, texts, etc). Because the voice rest came on quite suddenly, I still had a great deal of my life to organize and as much as I wanted to take the time to have Mind become completely silent (oh horrors!) I was unable to, due to not being completely ready for it.
HOWEVER. That being said, it has definitely been a huge and wonderful learning experience this past week.
You know, up until recently, I'd really started to lose sight of myself. Isn't it funny sometimes, the more action you take, the more you can lose sight of yourself? I'm taking action because I want to get where I want to be... yet, I took this action so far that I got sick and had to remove myself completely.
Of course... doesn't the Universe always give you what you asked for, just in a different way?
I've been looking to start taking time off my current life for a while... I just didn't know how. Part of me was starting to get frustrated and a little dead inside, much like that hamster on the wheel (a past life, perhaps??), the merry-go-round that doesn't let you get off. I saw a psychic the Friday before I found out all this stuff with my voice, on a very odd whim. (Seriously, I was walking to the car on Granville Island and something nudged me further on, further on, and further on still... until I was at the bottom of the psychic's staircase looking up. What's a girl to do!)
So he said some pretty powerful stuff concerning my upcoming direction. The two things he made note of were:
-to make time for my spiritual work
-focus on writing
(actually, what he said was, "You're a healer, girl! Share those gifts with the world!" a la Jack McFarland)
He also told me that a lot of my struggles were behind me, and now it's time to reap the benefits. (What does that even MEAN? I thought in my head)
So how does that relate to you? Well. I must share with you some of the pretty awesome revelations I've had over the past week.
- Creativity is awesome. I've had time to revisit certain passages/exercises of the Artist's Way (Julia Cameron... if you haven't read it... do it now!), specifically the morning pages (3 pages of longhand writing done first thing in the morning) and the artist date (1-2 hours of hanging out with your Inner Child). The point of morning pages to get your "chatter" out of the way so you can spend the day living in the present. Some people love it, some people hate it... but all I have to say is when I'm focused on "doing whatever it takes" to regain my creativity, 3 pages of longhand writing seem like a great way to get my own voice out of the way without other people having to listen to it! And the point of the artist date is to "fill the well" and remember what your little artist likes and doesn't (because ultimately, isn't it your perception that makes your own creativity unique?)
I've had a pretty great time remembering what it's like to write short stories just for the fun of it, or sketch pretty awful semblances of cups (or are they dogs? You can never tell when I'm done with it...) I have no idea where my writing will take me... but remembering the journey has been pretty incredible.
- Cleanliness is next to Godliness. You know, I totalled it up today, and I spent somewhere around 20 hours in the past week cleaning and organizing my place. You'd think I hadn't cleaned it since we moved in! But I read recently in Stuart Wilde's work that touching things will give them a life energy, regardless of what they are... and ya know, I haven't put this much love into a place... well... ever. For the first time since we've moved in (and even before then...) I am in love with the space I live in... simply because I'm finding my groove!
- Self-care is what it's cracked up to be. Oh my god. I'd forgotten what it was like to sleep until you wake up. Honestly. Since ... the summer... maybe? ... I hadn't had a day where I hadn't woken up to an alarm... and I certainly hadn't had more than 1 day in a row of having nothing planned except for what I've planned for myself. Meaning, being in control of my schedule gave me a feeling of empowerment that had been missing for a very long time... and the ability to sleep for the length of time my body asked for, to do little bits of stretching here and there... but mostly, to say nice things to yourself. For the first time in years, I've had the time to do an awesome, full meditation process in the morning.
And if you don't mind, I'm going to share with you a meditation technique that 2 wonderful people in my life, Julie and Matt, shared with me on the weekend. It goes like this:
1) put your hands on your heart
2) close your eyes
3) say/sing/whisper/chant/warble "I love you" to yourself for at least 1 minute.
I know, I know! It sounds cheesy! But I promise you--I promise you -- it works!
- Refresh, Re-inspire, Rinse, Repeat. I'd forgotten what it's like to observe my thoughts. Granted, (thankfully!), all the work I've been doing for the past 5 years is starting to take hold so I don't have to consciously think so much about creating my thoughts... but GEE WHIZ! Taking so much time hanging out with myself, I forgot how angry I can get when that douche cuts me off, or how selfish I can be when I'm eating, or how fear-prone I can get when I'm reviewing my finances. As much as I like to pretend I'm perfect... I forgot just how far from it I am! And, how much work it takes to change those deep-set thoughts...!
:)
As always, I hope that my learnings can be of some use to you. The next upcoming weeks are going to be ones of sincere reflection, and as I intend to be a diligent client and listen to my "Just Jack" psychic, I will be focusing on how I can be of service in both writing and offerings of spiritual healing. So in other words, expect more blogs!
Love, blessings, and infinite gratitude,
Meg
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