Wednesday, March 2, 2011

A long-overdue weekly update


Hello, friends. So my sincerest apologies for not responding to you when I said I would. 2 weeks in a row of not blogging! How bad am I!

I am writing this while waiting to go on set as a background “actor” (loosely used!) for a certain big film that is being shot in Vancouver. I made sure to bring my computer on set with me so that I would have NO CHOICE but to sit in front of it and write about the past couple of weeks!!

PHYSICAL BODY: So these past 2 weeks have been pretty emotional for me. I haven’t lost any weight, in fact I may have gained a pound or two. So the win for me lies in the fact that I haven’t backtracked too far, even in a time when I’ve really wanted to cling to the safety of food.

HEALTH & ENERGY: Until late this week, for the past 2 weeks I have been super committed to ensuring 30-45 mins of sweaty physical activity 6 times a week. Even though my food intake has been extremely poor, the afterglow of activity that I’ve been able to relish in has been wonderful. It’s given me a sheer strength that I otherwise wouldn’t have had. I can feel myself getting stronger, physically, and I gotta tell you it is a NICE feeling to trust my body again!

CREATIVE ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Week 2, I worked hard with a dramaturg on my solo show, and Week 3, I submitted it to a theatre festival. I’m really grateful that I got that submission done... there really is something to be said about having a deadline and a creative structure to aim towards. It was REALLY scary to submit my show – this baby of mine that I have held close to my heart for so many years – but in the end, I’m glad I did it. The more I get this work out there, the more I feel I’m freeing up spaced for more creative “children” to come to light! That being said, I’ve also noticed some major creative antagonism and sabotage, in both filling my body with junk (doesn’t do the physical body good that’s for sure!), and watching TV episodes back to back (lately it’s been finishing Season 1 of Fringe!)

SELF-ESTEEM: It’s been OK. I don’t want to get into what’s happened too much, but suffice it to say that it’s been an emotionally taxing 2 weeks. There has been an issue in my life that has been extremely emotional over the past 9 months, and just in the past 2 weeks it’s come to a head. I knew this was going to be an issue, but I didn’t realize it would affect me so hard. So merely the fact that I’ve been sticking to the plan, even the days I veer away, the fact that over the past 2 weeks I’ve come back even every couple of days has been incredible and I’m OK patting myself on the back for that.

FINANCE & CAREER: Ya know, I’ve been doing some work recommended by Stuart Wilde, a monetarily-inclined Spiritual Teacher for the past few weeks, and I’ve been starting to lose faith a little bit. I brainstorm almost daily about financially lucrative ideas, and I’ve brought these up with certain people, and although I feel more knowledgeable about some of these ideas, I still feel as if I’m treading water. So no real progress – that you can see, at least – on that front.

As for the Special Causes:. Week 2: FLIP SIDE WEEK .

I actually really liked this week. I’d like to carry forward some of the learnings that I took from it! One particular exercise that I came up with, while journaling one day in a cafe, was the following:

I chose as many areas in my life as possible that I was feeling crappy about. I pulled out my handy dandy journal and wrote the following:

“I feel crappy/sh*tty/icky about: _________”

I felt how that felt.

I then wrote the following sentence:

“In a perfect world, I would change this by...._________”

I sometimes wrote a couple of those sentences for each issue, and in one particular instance I wrote a paragraph. I then proceeded to continue with this formula for the remainder of the “I feel shitty about” list. And you know what’s crazy? I began to feel better.

See here’s the thing. I gave myself TOTAL permission to be as zany as possible on “I would change this by...” Allowing myself complete freedom to change my situation by zooming to the moon, for example. But what got crazy was that, when I had gone through my list and finished, I looked back... and even though it seemed TOTALLY CRAZY when I wrote it down... it actually wasn’t that crazy when I looked back at it. One of my answers was, “By talking to my boyfriend about this issue”. The only reason it felt crazy was because I was not in an emotional space enough to be able to even THINK about bringing it up with him... but by the time I’d finished the exercise, I’d raised my emotional vibration enough that it seemed like the perfect thing to do.

I discovered this late in the week. I had grand intentions of doing this exercise every day, but I forgot. Oops. Do not fret, however... this exercise WILL come back!

So that was the big golden nugget of Week 2. I’d love to take that one with me.


This one was somewhat the hardest yet. And to be honest, I actually forgot to Pay It Forward on a couple days. Some of my Pay It Forwards included holding a door for a woman with a big load, making dinner for a dear friend and giving her a container to take it home, helping a friend move, buying lunch for my mom when she had lost her wallet...

So although most of these are things that I would do anyway, it was actually kinda nice to celebrate a week of doing things for other people with absolutely NO intention of “getting it back”. I think that we forget that the little things we do can actually make big ripples. I forget, at least.

So that’s Week 2 and 3, dearies! Thank you for baring with me. Week 4 is GOOD VIBES TO PEOPLE week (No gossiping!), and I can’t TELL you how excited I am about that. So far so good, even surrounded by a whole whack of chatty kathies that usually I would LOVE to pick apart. (Err, ego would, that is!). So here’s to a whole week of throwing warm fuzzies at people, ESPECIALLY the ones who are mean to you!!

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