Sunday, March 13, 2011
Week 6: Tackle Weaknesses Week
OK you don't understand -- well how could you, you can't read my mind (can you?!) -- let me back up a little bit. I'll explain in a sec. FIRST, let me do a quick recap:
IN SUM: <-- ooh, that sounds kinda official doesn't it? I like it ;) Ok. Seriously. So after last week, the totally uninspired, i-feel-icky-and-watched-tv-all-day week, this week was like a COMPLETE reversal. Thank the heavenly beings that Be!
PHYSICAL BODY: I am -- miraculously -- the same weight as in Week 2. woo! I've been super committed to doing exercise every day -- be it gym, yoga, or swimming. I feel supported, and I feel like body and I are slowly becoming pals again. That's very exciting.
Upcoming, I will be healing from tonsil surgery so I intend to be very easy on myself, and just focus on the visualization and mind-healing, and treating my body with nourishing food and gentle exercise over the coming weeks.
HEALTH & ENERGY: It has been an INSPIRATIONAL weekend. I was volunteering at this event called the I Can Do It! Conference, it featured a whoooole bunch of inspirational teachers and authors who have guided me and my ankle to the incredible place I'm in now. To see them -- real, live people -- speaking up there, as well as having spent the weekend with a great pal who is clearly a soul-friend that I was supposed to meet on set last week was a gift.
Upcoming, I hope to have the energy to do just one little thing on the to-do list daily. Tuesday might be a gong show, and depending on how the pain is wed-friday, I'm aware I may not have the energy... but it would be pretty cool if I were able to get started on cleaning my desk or sorting through the itunes.
CREATIVE ACCOMPLISHMENTS: HANG UP THE PHONE PEOPLE MEGAN HAS BEEN WRITING. And not just random little ditties I'll never show anyone: I have been writing real scripts, with a friend. I have also had a few ideas for musical and song ideas (inspired by this weekend!), so who knows where we'll go with that. Upcoming this week, it would be awwwesome if I could do a little bit each day. I may ask my stepmom to bring my guitar over from my parent's place... who knows... maybe I'll write a little ditty?
SELF-ESTEEM: Yup, this week has done wonders. I neglected to mention that I have taken this week to not watch TV. Although it has been harrrd in some ways, I really do think that taking time away from the boob tube has contributed to an overall feeling of achievement, which has blossomed through to taking time to write, and sing, and do happy dances, and meet people.
It's also helped that there have been no new episodes in ANY of my favourite shows. Not that I've checked.
Upcoming, I honestly feel like the only achievement/self-esteem I need to live up to is healing, meditating with my new meditation CDs (!) daily, and anything else will be a bonus!
FINANCES & CAREER: This one has been stumping me. I feel I'm in this limbo performing-wise, because of the upcoming surgery and the recent voice issues. My "biz venture" ideas that have been coming with alacrity have been leaving with an equal fervor. I'm broke. I'm sorry universe -- I know I shouldn't state things as I don't like it because it's an affirmation -- but I've just gotta say it like it is -- I'm BROOOOOOOKE!
Upcoming... I just don't know. I'm keeping with the creative, and tonight i'm listening to a sweet-as meditation from a lady who apparently has done some great work in the past... I'm open, and I'm ready, and I'm learning about what to do and change.
MENTORS: I've had about 4 mentors in mind all week -- all of which are peers, and it's like I carried them around on my shoulder in different situations. I would see how one of them acted in a situation, and I pretended to act like them. I think that has been a major factor in helping me overcome watching TV daily, as well as improving my activity and eating from last week. I'm aware I still have a long way to go but -- as one of my mentors would say -- focus on your successes and live in the moment. Also, this weekend has been TOTALLY mentor-stacked with the conference, so yay!
THIS WEEK: OK. So at the beginning of this blog, the vomit-in-the-mouth thing, let me explain.
So one of the speakers I watched - Caroline Myss - what a freaking lady. She talked about many things today... but mostly, that we carry around 12 different archetypes in our psyche. Some of them we're proud of, like the Goddess and the Charismatic Child and all that. But then there are some we like to pretend we don't have... like the Sabateur, the Gambler, the Vampire... I can get into this a little later. But suffice it to say that we, essentially, walk around with a narcissistic ego that is SO terrified of not being Enough that it likes to overcompensate ... and say, "you need THIS and this and this to be Enough", and so we state our RIGHTS to others -- usually our partners -- "I need THIS from you to survive, otherwise I'm walking away". And we don't open ourselves to their needs.
In a word, we have this entitlement that the Narcissistic Ego likes to perpetuate.
Now why is it so fitting that this week is one to tackle weaknesses? Because this morning, when Caroline was speaking about this entitlement that we carry around, I got this feeling that was like, goosebumps combined with upchuck. It was a strong call to action... that THIS is what has been getting in the way of my financial abundance and success with my career. And I resolved that this was the next stage for me to work on: becoming aware of, and combatting my "demons", as Caroline calls them.
So after a lovely chat with Ms. Marion Piper, and heading to the blog, what crosses my consciousness but... "tackling weaknesses". Meant to be, much?
So here's to a kick-ass week. Thank you for being readers on this journey. It's nice to have something to feel accountable to. Much love, light, and good vibes -- have an INCREDIBLE, strength-filled week and we'll see you next week (however light and drugged up the post may be!)
meg
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Week 5: TRIBUTE TO MENTORS
Woo hoo! First off, need a little celebration that I've made it through ONE MONTH! That's a quarter of the way through! Even though I haven't been perfect -- far from it, actually -- I'm still going forward. And those times when I take a couple days off, and though I've seen very few tangible results, I still have a strong underlying faith that this is my path. Month 1 has been a month of trial & error... month 2 is about determination and discipline.
Also -- can I just say -- it's exciting to be posting ON TIME, for once. I feel like the worst of the emotional storm has come and passed... at least I hope so. I do know that I feel energized and motivated to cross things off the to-do list, which is more than I can say over the past couple of days (weeks even?) -- so I don't want to jinx anything. One day at a time, right?
So to recap over this past week:
PHYSICAL BODY: I'm pretty sure I've gained. Alas. I've been on set (more about that later), and let me tell you: there is an overwhelming abundance of food in that extra tent... enough that could feed small villages for days I am sure! And with the emotional ick that I've been feeling, there's been much of self-medicating. That being said, the physical body has been falling by the wayside though there has been advancement in other areas.
HEALTH & ENERGY: Doing night shoots over the past week has really done a number on my Circadian cycle. That being said. As I write below, it was extremely re-inspiring to be around movie stars and movie people who are incredibly successful and lovely.
CREATIVE ACCOMPLISHMENTS: I worked on set, doing my 2nd background gig ever, for a major film. I submitted my show to a festival. I watched a great deal of TV and movies (not sure if those are Accomplishments, per se, seeings how they were me being both exhausted and hiding from emotions, but sometimes I watched them with an objective eye so i'll call those creative accomplishments!)
SELF-ESTEEM: I met some truly rad people on set, and it made me very happy to be me during that time on set.
FINANCE & CAREER: I REALLY realized how much I love being on set. I know that as background, I don't do a whole lot... but just hanging around, and watching all these people being so passionate about working for 12-13 hours at a time, to make a movie... it was EXTREMELY re-inspiring.
GOOD VIBES TO OTHERS: This was AWESOME!!! I want to do this again!!!! It's so easy. Honestly. I had 2 separate events with family members that were super painful, and I found that just thinking good things about them was helpful afterwords. Not sure if it made a difference, but it definitely helped me internally. I totally recommend this!
TRIBUTE TO MENTORS WEEK: OK so this week upcoming is about paying tribute to mentors. There are 2 ways I'd like to do this: first, to imitate mentors. (Because, as Marion pointed out earlier, imitation IS the best form of tribute/flattery!) I have a couple in mind that are SO incredible and confident -- ways that I would like to be -- so I'm going to have "Act like ______" days.
And second, to send emails, or other ways of directly paying tribute to them. I'm totally looking for ideas... I've posted on Facebook ... if any of you reading this have ideas, please comment or email me -- I'll let you know how this week goes!
As always, thanks for your love and support, and keep being strong! Month 2, here we come!
Lots of love,
Meg
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
A long-overdue weekly update
Hello, friends. So my sincerest apologies for not responding to you when I said I would. 2 weeks in a row of not blogging! How bad am I!
I am writing this while waiting to go on set as a background “actor” (loosely used!) for a certain big film that is being shot in Vancouver. I made sure to bring my computer on set with me so that I would have NO CHOICE but to sit in front of it and write about the past couple of weeks!!
PHYSICAL BODY: So these past 2 weeks have been pretty emotional for me. I haven’t lost any weight, in fact I may have gained a pound or two. So the win for me lies in the fact that I haven’t backtracked too far, even in a time when I’ve really wanted to cling to the safety of food.
HEALTH & ENERGY: Until late this week, for the past 2 weeks I have been super committed to ensuring 30-45 mins of sweaty physical activity 6 times a week. Even though my food intake has been extremely poor, the afterglow of activity that I’ve been able to relish in has been wonderful. It’s given me a sheer strength that I otherwise wouldn’t have had. I can feel myself getting stronger, physically, and I gotta tell you it is a NICE feeling to trust my body again!
CREATIVE ACCOMPLISHMENTS: Week 2, I worked hard with a dramaturg on my solo show, and Week 3, I submitted it to a theatre festival. I’m really grateful that I got that submission done... there really is something to be said about having a deadline and a creative structure to aim towards. It was REALLY scary to submit my show – this baby of mine that I have held close to my heart for so many years – but in the end, I’m glad I did it. The more I get this work out there, the more I feel I’m freeing up spaced for more creative “children” to come to light! That being said, I’ve also noticed some major creative antagonism and sabotage, in both filling my body with junk (doesn’t do the physical body good that’s for sure!), and watching TV episodes back to back (lately it’s been finishing Season 1 of Fringe!)
SELF-ESTEEM: It’s been OK. I don’t want to get into what’s happened too much, but suffice it to say that it’s been an emotionally taxing 2 weeks. There has been an issue in my life that has been extremely emotional over the past 9 months, and just in the past 2 weeks it’s come to a head. I knew this was going to be an issue, but I didn’t realize it would affect me so hard. So merely the fact that I’ve been sticking to the plan, even the days I veer away, the fact that over the past 2 weeks I’ve come back even every couple of days has been incredible and I’m OK patting myself on the back for that.
FINANCE & CAREER: Ya know, I’ve been doing some work recommended by Stuart Wilde, a monetarily-inclined Spiritual Teacher for the past few weeks, and I’ve been starting to lose faith a little bit. I brainstorm almost daily about financially lucrative ideas, and I’ve brought these up with certain people, and although I feel more knowledgeable about some of these ideas, I still feel as if I’m treading water. So no real progress – that you can see, at least – on that front.
As for the Special Causes:. Week 2: FLIP SIDE WEEK .
I actually really liked this week. I’d like to carry forward some of the learnings that I took from it! One particular exercise that I came up with, while journaling one day in a cafe, was the following:
I chose as many areas in my life as possible that I was feeling crappy about. I pulled out my handy dandy journal and wrote the following:
“I feel crappy/sh*tty/icky about: _________”
I felt how that felt.
I then wrote the following sentence:
“In a perfect world, I would change this by...._________”
I sometimes wrote a couple of those sentences for each issue, and in one particular instance I wrote a paragraph. I then proceeded to continue with this formula for the remainder of the “I feel shitty about” list. And you know what’s crazy? I began to feel better.
See here’s the thing. I gave myself TOTAL permission to be as zany as possible on “I would change this by...” Allowing myself complete freedom to change my situation by zooming to the moon, for example. But what got crazy was that, when I had gone through my list and finished, I looked back... and even though it seemed TOTALLY CRAZY when I wrote it down... it actually wasn’t that crazy when I looked back at it. One of my answers was, “By talking to my boyfriend about this issue”. The only reason it felt crazy was because I was not in an emotional space enough to be able to even THINK about bringing it up with him... but by the time I’d finished the exercise, I’d raised my emotional vibration enough that it seemed like the perfect thing to do.
I discovered this late in the week. I had grand intentions of doing this exercise every day, but I forgot. Oops. Do not fret, however... this exercise WILL come back!
So that was the big golden nugget of Week 2. I’d love to take that one with me.
Week 3: PAY IT FORWARD WEEK
This one was somewhat the hardest yet. And to be honest, I actually forgot to Pay It Forward on a couple days. Some of my Pay It Forwards included holding a door for a woman with a big load, making dinner for a dear friend and giving her a container to take it home, helping a friend move, buying lunch for my mom when she had lost her wallet...
So although most of these are things that I would do anyway, it was actually kinda nice to celebrate a week of doing things for other people with absolutely NO intention of “getting it back”. I think that we forget that the little things we do can actually make big ripples. I forget, at least.
So that’s Week 2 and 3, dearies! Thank you for baring with me. Week 4 is GOOD VIBES TO PEOPLE week (No gossiping!), and I can’t TELL you how excited I am about that. So far so good, even surrounded by a whole whack of chatty kathies that usually I would LOVE to pick apart. (Err, ego would, that is!). So here’s to a whole week of throwing warm fuzzies at people, ESPECIALLY the ones who are mean to you!!
Monday, February 14, 2011
120 days towards change... Week 2 FLIP SIDE WEEK
So it is officially Week 2. I was going to write last night, but I've had a whopping weekend involving ... well, ok, a great deal of Fringe episodes. And a whooole bunch of sugar on Saturday night. And that to-do list I procured on Thursday... Friday... Saturday? ... apparently watching Fringe episodes... and catching up on Private Practice... Off the Map... Grey's Anatomy... was FAR more important!!!
So a quick recap of this week: I certainly started with a bang: Monday-Friday was extremely strong. I felt extremely committed to this project, and shared this project with everybody I could in hopes of bringing some new recruits on board (if you've stumbled on this that would be YOU!).
I began a journal on Tuesday, as I felt it would be helpful to keep a physical piece of changes... adding a quantification to the process.
Daily Checklists:
My daily checklists were fantastic from Monday-Friday, Sat/Sunday I began to slip a bit more.
Physical activity has been the easiest, with food being a close second. I keep forgetting gratitude... so the aim is to even just remember for one meal a day.
I've found it most difficult to do 1 creative and 1 financial action...making time to write has been challenging. And it feels ludicrous that this is so, especially since I'm not working... so where do my hours go?
CORRECT AND CONTINUE: for Week 2, I'm going to try checklisting ONE creative and ONE financial action, so I have 7 small ones by next week.
5 areas:
Physical Body - I've lost 3 pounds this week, and have had a whack of ideas racing through my already-busy mind in terms of finances.
Health & Energy -- Ummm... kinda lazy on the weekend. And now that's pulled a bit more into Monday... though, I think the time-off on the weekend allowed for some extra energy, at least to have a good workout.
Creative Accomplishments - I wrote a new timeline, but have definitely not put daily work into writing. I think for Week 2 I will aim for writing 3x/week instead of every day so I don't feel quite so bad.
Self-esteem feels pretty strong, all-around. I'd like to feel more achievement in terms of motivating myself to set goals instead of only achieving things when they're appointments
Finances - Very little change. I sold some electronics I've been meaning to sell, so that gave me a nice income buffer.
WEEKLY THEME: SERVICE:
Well, the only issue with this is that it wasn't really specific enough. Next time I do something like this, I will give myself daily goals. This next week will probably not be specific enough either... so I think I'll need to do some thinking as to how I can specify THINKING ON THE FLIP SIDE / NO COMPLAINING WEEK!
So... that's pretty much it. I hope that your week has gone well too! Please drop me a line... comment... message... let me know you're out there and rockin Week 2!!
Much love,
Meg
Sunday, February 6, 2011
120 days towards change...Starts tomorrow!
So. Just to be totally clear. Here are my 5 areas that I m looking forward to seeing changes in:
- Physical Body
- Health & Energy
- Creative Accomplishments
- Self-Esteem
- Finances & Career
Daily Checklist (no matter what!):
- meditation
- physical connection & activity
- food awareness & gratitude
- daily commitments for the day
- morning pages
- 3 finance/career actions/day
- 1 creative action/day
- nature appreciation
- visualization & imagery on each of 5 areas above
Weekly commitments:
- With every interaction, think, "how can I give to this person in this transaction?"
- Flip Side Week (otherwise known as No Complaining Week). Also special note to be gentle to Self Week.
- Random Act of Kindness Week (or Pay-It-Forward Week). I'm aiming for at a bare minimum of 1/day... to friends, foe, and strangers.
- Good Vibes to People Week (Choose 1 person/day, and see that person surrounded in white light and getting all they deserve as much as possible throughout the day)
- Give tribute to Mentors Week (You remember WWJD? Substitute "J" for your mentor and act like they would... WW _ D?)
- Tackle my Weaknesses Week (Make a list of 7 Darknesses. Choose one per day. Devote each day to throwing every single tool I know of at it... affirmations, change of thoughts, change of actions, etc.)
- Eat only real, simple foods for a week. Also: goal to eat each meal doing nothing else except eating! No reading, no tv, just simple.
- Plan and make all meals at home for a week (no eating out... that includes Starbucks!)
**HALFWAY!... celebration and refection and correct/continue time!**
- Be Kind to the Environment Week (might become Bike Everywhere Week...maybe even Low-Electricity Week (ie... no TV week... gulp! ... keep ya posted)
- Switch It Up Week: do something new in everything... exercise, eating, route to work, daily routine... you name it!
- Simplify and Clear Space Week
- DO IT NOW week (otherwise known as No Procrastination Week)
- Confidence Week
- Marketing Myself Week: work on marketing projects I've been putting off (website updates much?!)
- Go out of Comfort Zone Week
- Notice the Changes and Love Yourself Week
**Also, THANKS to all the facebook peeps who posted their ideas... it was AWESOME to see everybody's ideas, and you can see I've shamelessly stolen some of them, thanks!*
Now. Rewards and punishments ideas (I don't know how much I'll be using them, but they're here just in case they work for anyone else?):
Rewards:
- Go to the spa/beauty parlour (mani, pedi, massage, etc.)
- Buy new music
- New clothing
- New Lush/Eco-friendly stuff
- Hang out at the SPCA with the puppies
- wake up extra early for meditation
- do Mike's chores for him
- clean out computer files, or other jobs I've been putting off
- donate money to a charity (alternative: put money in a jar and donate one big sum at the end)
- Do everything on the Daily List twice
- No TV
So.... that's the plan folks! Again, I am committing to blogging weekly (hopefully more!) and sharing my experiences. I'd love to hear comments if any of you try this -- even just a portion of it -- or if anyone out there has done something like this in the past, what has worked for them? I know this seems ambitious... but if I get to the end of the month and it's just too much, I will tone things down if needed. Or otherwise -- even more exciting -- if it just is so darned easy, I'll ramp up the changes.
Much, much love, and Happy 120 Days to Change!
Meg
Friday, February 4, 2011
120 days towards change...Taking Stock
So I've been clarifying just what, exactly, I want to put into the next 4 months. I have my 5 cornerstone themes I'm aiming to see improvement in. I've got daily actions aimed at each of them. I've been playing around with the idea of a weekly theme resulting in daily action (see yesterday's post), and some GREAT ideas have came flowing in on my facebook status (thanks peeps!). So I figured, why not give it some semblance of form, and have a MONTHLY theme, with weekly categories that come up?? (Again, I apologize for my micro-managerial tendencies that can pop up from time to time...don't worry... they'll soon pass...)
So on that note. Here's what I've got so far (any other ideas, I'm all ears!):
Month 1: Fresh, Eager, this-is-new-and-exciting energy
Month 2: In the Thick of It -- Keep your chin up and your head down, Kid (or something like that)
Month 3: Halfway--Take stock of where I'm at. Correct/revise/continue Game Plan
Month 4: TAKE 'ER HOME!
And as for Weekly Ideas, here's what I have chosen -- in no particular order:
- With every interaction, think, "how can I give to this person in this transaction?"
- Gratitude Week
- Flip Side Week (otherwise known as No Complaining Week)
- Random Act of Kindness Week (or Pay-It-Forward Week)
- Pray for/Meditate on/send good vibes to the same person every day
- Give tribute to a mentor Week (either same one, or 7 different ones!)
- Tackle my Weaknesses Week
- Eat only real food for a week
- Plan all meals for a week
- Be Kind to the Environment Week
- Go out of Comfort Zone Week
- Love Yourself Week (was gonna say Pleasure Yourself Week but I guess that's something different altogether... oh this is awkward)
- DO IT NOW week (otherwise known as No Procrastination Week)
- Confidence Week
- Marketing Myself Week: work on marketing projects I've been putting off (website updates much?!)
Lastly, I am aiming for at least 1 weekly check-in. The goal is to do a blog on Sunday night, with a recap of the previous week, and a more specific plan for the coming week. Because obviously, I've done all my planning in advance so there will be ABSOLUTELY NOTHING that will come up and knock my advance-well-thought-out plans out of the picture... ;)
I have taken an inventory of where I'm at NOW and where I want to be in 4 months. I found some areas easier than others to give basic numbers:
-the Physical Body was easiest to figure out. Numbers on a scale and the way I feel in jeans are pretty self-explanatory, and I've found in the past that when I stick to a simple plan, the numbers show for themselves... so I feel good about that. Simple, vegan foods, portion observance, intuitive eating, creative cooking, planning, and really paying attention to my thoughts & emotions while preparing and eating delicious food.
-Health & Vitality was a bit more difficult to add a quantum number to. All I could really decide was that I'd like to "feel more energetic". I think that to quantify this, over the weekend, I'm going to look at the ways I'm NOT health & vitality-full, and strategize how I DO want to be.
-Creative Accomplishments is scariest to work with. I have some ideas for scripts that have been kicking around. Actually writing a first draft?! Going from in-the-ethosphere to in-someones-hard-drive is a scary, scary thought. Nevertheless, 2 goals are written and in the book for May.
-Self-Esteem (inside & out): ok, this one kinda goes with Health & Vitality, but it's the internal manifestation. Since I've decided that I want to have my own business, I've had tonnes of ideas that have bubbled to the surface... but Mike put it best when he quoted Susan in the musical [title of show]:
The last vampire is the mother of all vampires and that is the vampire of despair.
It’ll wake you up at 4am to say things like:
Who do you think you’re kidding?
You look like a fool.
No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be good enough
Why is it that if some dude walked up to me on the subway platform
and said these things, I’d think he was a mentally ill asshole,
but if the vampire inside my head says it,
It’s the voice of reason.
... RIGHT???...
so it was at that point I decided that Self-Esteem deserved a big ol' spot up here. So, again, hard to put in quantum measures... but, by May, I want to feel confidence and strength in places where I am currently feeling crippling self-defeatism.
-Finances: Ah yes, my good friend Moneybags and his doppelganger Visa card. At this point, I have debt that I would like to have totally managed by May. I am also currently unable to work my old jobs due to vocal issue... so I'm looking for creative income streams and a solid business idea and plan by May.
SO. I don't want to post too specific information here on this gargantuam Internet-thing ... I will share that info with close friends and colleagues, but I'd rather leave my goals general for now.
All right. So up to now, I've posted: inventory, monthly plan, weekly plan, daily plan. I'm also looking for rewards/punishments for each day... to help with the "motivation" factor ... although I much prefer the term "INSPIRATION" factor! I've posted for ideas on facebook... all ears for ideas!
Woo! Bring it on!
Love, light, and hugs that make you feel warm in your toes,
Meg
Thursday, February 3, 2011
120 days towards change...Weekly challenges
So, been thinking more about the Weekly Challenges. I want something that has a recognizable weekly theme, with specific daily actions. I put an all-call out on Facebook and Twitter for ideas, so far, here are some ideas that I've had:
So I have a few options here:
- Choose 4 themes and repeat them each 4 times
- Choose 8 themes and repeat them twice
- Choose 16 themes and have a new theme every week
- Choose a random number between 4 and 16 and repeat some/don't repeat others
Also, been working on my daily actions, and adding a quantum measurement to make my goals SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, with a Timeline... check here for more info). The...goal... (heheheh)... is to have these written down in concrete, specific steps by the weekend so I'm good to go for Monday! Adding specific details has always been somewhat of my downfall (more on downfalls/darknesses later).
ALSO, I am giving myself the BIGGEST pat on the back... I figured out how to add FB and Twitter "share" buttons! It was so exciting! So please add, like, and share to your heart's content... how awesome would it be if a whole bunch of us changed global consciousness just by striving to be our best Selves for 4 months?
Lotsa love and hugs,
Megan
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