Monday, March 1, 2010

Now What?

Been a while since I've posted, ain't it?

March 1st. It's March 1st. The Coca-Cola Happiness House stint has ended ... a phenomenal experience, to say the least. The people met: awesome. The experience gained: incredible. The contacts made: unbeatable. Contract, from November, 2009 to Feb, 2010.... OVER.

And... so the crazy question lingers....

Now What?

You know when you do a show, and you get so close to the cast in such a short amount of time, and suddenly it ends... there's like this vacuum of energy. No wind-up, no wind-down... ya just hit the ground running and hope you swim rather than sink. At the very least, tread water.

Maybe not all of you are actors. So maybe the high school analogy is a bit better.... so much intensity, in such a short amount of time... and then what?

I have no idea what's ahead. I know that it's this paradoxical way to live... I thrive under pressure, in the heat of the moment and knowing there's a specific beginning, middle, and end to the contract... but then I get so freaked out when I actually create the space to do my art.

Oh, that's funny. I meant to write, "when I don't know what's next to pay the bills" ... but what came out was, "to do my art".

Does that mean... I should start writing again? Does that mean... do I HAVE to honour my inner child and deepest ambitions?

Oh god... the panic is starting again. I'm going to go clean my room now. I don't have any answers. I just needed to write what I wrote in the knowledge that you, who are reading this, are the perfect reader.

And please - if you have any responses - I am all ears! (Well, at least, I'll use the 2 I have).

1 comment:

Marion Evelyn Piper said...

That incredible vacuum created due to a lack of intensity after such an experience should be filled with all the wonderful things you do for yourself, without any other thought of anyone else. Use the space to create, feel, laugh, sleep, eat and work yourself into a frenzy...that's what I'm doing and it's lovely.

Miss you chicken, hope life is always kinder than you imagine xxx